11 Important Lessons - Part 2

Sep 29, 2014

Darcia and Diane, with Embark Counseling,  have years of experience working with families whose children are out of control. 

We believe these 11 Lessons can be helpful to all parents. This is Part 2 

single pink shirt.jpg7 -  DON’T FALL FOR I DON’T CARE

Teenagers care.  They care deeply.  They care about what their parents think of them.  They care about what their peers think.  They care about certain privileges.  But telling parents   they don’t care can cause parents to throw up their hands and give up on rules and consequences.  Don’t fall for it.  Hang in there and continue to remind your child of the rules and the consequences that will occur when they violate rules as well as the privileges they will earn by following rules.


black and white people in front of each other.jpg8- NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS WHEN KIDS ARE TRUANT FROM SCHOOL 

Skipping class or school all together can be a red flag that your child is engaging in more serious and dangerous activities.  In addition to the negative academic effects of truancy, it has been clearly identified as one of the early warning signs of delinquent activity and social isolation. Check attendance regularly.  Provide rewards for being in class on time. 


circle of people holding hands.jpg9 -POWER OF THE 5 to 1 RULE 

Five positive comments for every one negative comment is a powerful tool to shape behavior.   Sometimes it seems we don’t have time to fit in even one positive comment in a typical day with our families.  But try making it a goal.  You might discover there are fewer arguments and more offers of help.  It also works with spouses, co-workers and bosses. 


blue shirt and orange shirt having bubble conversation.jpg10 - PARENT TO PARENT LINKS KEEP US SANE 

Being the parent of a teenager can be a draining experience, even when things are going relatively well. We need others to be sounding boards and help us re-energize.  Identify other parents you can talk to who will help you regain perspective in tough times.  Other parents will be able to recognize the good job you are doing even when your kids are driving you crazy. 

users_2.png11 - CO-PARENTING IS CRITICAL m

Teenagers are good at the “divide and conquer” method. Be prepared.  Your child(ren) distract you from your attempts at parenting by finding the areas where you and your spouse differ.  Parents, whether together or divorced, need to agree on the rules and how they will be enforced.  Parents may disagree on all kinds of matters; be sure you agree to agree on how you will parent your child.


If you would like to consult the Embark therapists about any struggles

with your teenager,

Click Here to contact us for a free consultation


Darcia DeSalvo

Darcia is a Partner with Embark Counseling Get in touch with her at darcia@embarkcounseling.net

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