Loving the Good Enough Teen

May 20, 2015

Love and acceptance is vital if we expect our teenagers to listen to our guidance.   Sometimes it's not easy to accept our teens' behavior or attitudes. 

good enough teen.pngCan you imagine being accepting and loving to the child who will come through the door today rather than the person we wish they were?  As  parents we struggle to put aside our expectations and really see and accept our children for who they are at this moment.  Too often our rejection of our child's friends, grades or activities can turn into what can feel like rejection of our child.  The result is that children stop listening to us.  "I'll never be good enough, anyway." is a phrase we have heard over and over again from our teenage clients.

Dr. John Duffy in his book THE AVAILABLE PARENT, talks about the "good enough teenager." He suggests that by acknowledging, accepting, and challenging our teens, we are able to have influence in their lives.  As adults we seek information and support from those who we sense will listen to us without criticism and meet us where we are in life. Our teenagers are no different in their need for us to be available to them right now, as they are. Dr. Duffy  quotes a young girl  who sums up this challenge for parents. "Love me like you would have if I had turned out the way you pictured."  Some days it can feel like a lot to ask.  But our kids are worth it.

If you find you continue are struggling with your relationship with your teenager and would like a free phone consultation call us at Embark Counseling 303-726-4560 or 303-907-7072.




Darcia DeSalvo

Darcia is a Partner with Embark Counseling Get in touch with her at darcia@embarkcounseling.net

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